Archive for the ‘News’ Category

Eight men out

14Feb19

Who couldn’t have seen this coming? The folks who took the “man” out of selectman now want to manipulate the gender composition of other boards. So much being gender neutral. Recently, the Wakefield Town Council advertised for candidates to serve on the crisply-named “Public Safety Building Re-Assessment Committee.” In mid-November, the notice was posted widely […]


Take a hike

07Feb19

Throughout his decades as a steady presence on the local scene, he has cultivated an air of quiet reserve. But now, one of Wakefield’s most iconic figures has finally broken his silence. Some may find what he had to say shocking. In an exclusive interview with the Wakefield Daily Item, the character known affectionately as […]


Pretty Vacant

01Feb19

“Isn’t it a shame about all the empty storefronts downtown?” “Which ones are empty?” “Well, I haven’t been downtown lately. Nobody goes there anymore because there’s too much traffic and not enough parking.” “Oh.” There’s one myth almost as persistent as the one that Wakefield has become so overdeveloped that there’s no room for an […]


Once upon a time, there was a perfect little town that had the perfect number of people living in the perfect number of homes. That perfect little town had perfect little downtown with the perfect number of perfect little shops, selling perfectly adorable items to the perfect number of customers. Then, the town fathers let […]


It’s time for our weekly vocabulary test. Today’s words are “clothing” and “shoes.” Let’s start by using both words on in a sentence. “A recliner is not clothing, and mattresses are not shoes.” Congratulations! You’re smarter than a fourth-grader! You’ve also been eliminated as suspect in the trash dumping at the green donation bins in […]


It’s Christmastime and, if I may so boldly observe, it’s cold outside. Meanwhile, Rudolph has contacted the Reindeer Rights Commission to report bullying and harassment. Climate change has claimed the life of Frosty the Snowman and gender fluid Santa Claus is coming to town. Into this season of gloom, I bring a ray of light […]


Cold comfort

06Dec18

‘Tis the season to be banning things. You’ve no doubt heard about efforts to ban the song Baby, It’s Cold Outside. And that’s not even the most absurd example. It’s becoming harder to argue that the War on Christmas is a myth when stories like the following keep surfacing. In 2018, 69 years after it […]