I want to state up front that this column may have been hacked by the Russians. So if you find anything objectionable, you know who to blame. (Snarky lot, those Ruskies.)
The New Year is known for lists. New Year’s columns typically feature lists of “bests” and “worsts” of the previous year. Predictions for the future and resolutions for the coming year are a dime a dozen at this time of year.
But a newspaper’s role is to set the agenda for local issues, encourage local economic growth and foster a sense of identity within our local community. Or so I’m told. Sounds absolutely fascinating and I promise to get right on it. In the meantime, here’s a collection of random New Year’s observations.
Does anybody else think this year is really dragging?
It’s been good to see all the new faces in the gym this week. It will be even better when they’re gone next week.
Where are they now: scary clowns.
If legalization isn’t going to make pot easier to get, why are potheads – excuse me – cannabis enthusiasts – hysterical about a six month-delay in retail sales?
I think I might watch the Presidential Inauguration this year. Does anybody know what channel it’s on?
Where are they now: Pokemon Go.
That was the last time you will read the word “folks” in one of my columns.
Today, a self-driving car pulled over and asked me for directions.
Over the weekend, a prankster in southern California changed the famous “Hollywood” sign to “Hollyweed.” And they say marijuana destroys ambition.
I just heard about ‘pho’ this week. So sar, I have no desire to try it. But I’ll keep you posted.
If you think higher education is expensive now, wait ‘til it’s free.
Shouldn’t the self-timer on our cameras and phones be called a “selfie timer?” (That’s copyrighted, BTW.)
My smart phone’s text autocorrect does not have “autocorrect” in its dictionary. Maybe I need a smarter phone.
So I hope 2017 brings an end to this extraordinarily irritating fad of people starting every sentence with the word “so.”
And finally, С новым годом, everybody!
[This column originally appeared in the January 5, 2017 Wakefield Daily Item.]
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By MARK SARDELLA
Last month, through the efforts of a number of local people, local dog lovers and their canine friends received the gift of a new dog park in the Junction. But this long-vacant parcel and its neighboring property have an interesting, but mostly forgotten, history dating back to May 17, 1969.
Let’s set the stage.
It was the height of the 1960s counterculture. Forty percent of the population in the United States was under 20, and they were eager to demonstrate their nonconformity by all dressing exactly alike. Men and boys wore their hair long. Women wore short skirts and peasant dresses. Absolutely everyone wore bell-bottoms.
Rebellion and anti-authoritarianism were all the rage. Police were disdained and called “pigs” and “blue meanies.” The era was also famous for its proliferation of recreational drugs like LSD and especially marijuana, which may come as news to some Millennials who think that they invented pot.
Continue reading ‘Dog Park’s ‘Barbaric’ history’
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Well, it’s that time of year again.
So, without further ado…
To Selectman Peter May: automatic canine voter registration.
To Fred Rich LaRiccia: a winner.
To Jen Migliore: new management.
To the Americal Civic Center: gun control.
Continue reading ‘Christmas List 2016’
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By MARK SARDELLA
The perfect, outside-the-box Christmas gift idea might just be something available from the unlikeliest of shopping venues – Town Hall.
The 2016 Town of Wakefield Annual Street List is available while supplies last at the Town Clerk’s Office for the low price of $10.
The front cover of this handsome, spiral bound volume features a full-color image of South Reading Common circa 1834 by Wakefield artist Franklin Poole. Inside the cover, local historian Nancy Bertrand provides some historical background on Poole’s painting as well as biographical notes on the artist himself.
Continue reading ‘A unique holiday gift’
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Thursday was a big day for the Massachusetts Cannabis Community.
December 15, 2016 – a day that will live, if not in infamy, then certainly in idiocy.
At 4:20 p.m., thousands of senile hippies and their millennial grandchildren shared a bong hit to celebrate the fact that decades of oppressive “prohibition” has come to an end in Massachusetts.
It’s now perfectly legal in Massachusetts to spark up a doobie and get totally wasted.
If that isn’t progress worth celebrating, I don’t know what is. Good to know that we’re setting the bar high for our state.
It’s a victory for ignorance as much as anything.
I have no doubt that most of the people who voted “Yes” on Question 4 never actually read even part of the proposed 12-page law legalizing recreational pot. Mostly, they just believed the propaganda shelled out by the Marijuana Industry and its paid “marijuana consultants.”
Continue reading ‘Green day’
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I was relieved the other day when my L.L. Bean Christmas Gift Guide arrived in the mail. Not that I plan to buy any gifts from it. In fact, I’m at a bit of a loss as to why I’m even on their mailing list. I can only guess that I must have purchased something online with a gift card I was given a few Christmases ago.
I was relieved because I can now pass along some helpful gift ideas – for you to give to me, your humble correspondent. The items in the catalog are a little out of my price range, but I’m always open to accepting gifts from my fans, especially those of you who like to pass along helpful journalistic tips for improving the quality of my columns.
Don’t think I don’t appreciate your suggestions. But a Sherpa-Lined Chamois Shirt ($99) from L.L. Bean would sure help to keep your favorite wordsmith comfy on the chilly winter nights to come.
Continue reading ‘The joy of giving – to me’
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